NO MORE HORMONES!!!

Yay! So, next month I will officially be off birth control. I've been taking it for over a year now, I started it exactly a month before me and my husband were married. AWWW.

Yeah, fuck birth control. I have gained about 40 pounds since going on it. I mean, I have STRETCH MARKS. WTF. I have never had stretch marks. And when I try to excercise, nothing comes off.

It's literally like birth control makes your body think you're pregnant in ALL ways. I am gaining weight in my stomach, pretty much like I'm pregnant. I am lethargic, as if I am carrying a child. I have absolutely no sex drive. IT SUCKS. So, I'm stopping it.

I'm going on this thing called Paragard. We'll see how it works out. I'm excited about not being fat.

We are all precious;

His desire is to give hope to the hopeless, give bread to the hungry, give love to the unloved, and give life to those who feel there is nothing left.

There is always something left.

A long time ago, a friend that was very near and dear to my heart asked me a question, "What is a soul?"

I argued with him that it was the very being of who we are, what makes you that unique human being, different, yet the same from everyone else. He said that is our personality, and he was right. I was wrong.

It is more than just a person's personality. It is what makes a human, live. It is literally our LIFE! It is what separates us from animals, it separates us from Earth. It is immaterial, yet essential to life. Scientists try to put all of what we're made of (Carbon atoms, water molecules and everything in-between) in a test tube, and what do they get?

It's not life. You can't create something without a soul. That's why cloning experiments go wrong. You can create things that don't have souls, such as animals, but not humans. Perhaps parts of humans, but nothing fully in its right to be a human.

A soul is something that aches for more, that wants to be loved, and wants to love. It wants to feel special in its own way, and be loved in spite of mistakes it makes. A soul is always searching, always wondering about things. Its that part of you that makes you wonder what happens after you die, what happens after you have a baby, what happens when you grow old, what happens when you fall in love, WHAT HAPPENS NOW?

Our desire is to give hope to the hopeless, give bread to the hungry, give love to the unloved, and give life to those who feel there is nothing left.

Making a human;

I have been thinking about babies lately, because... omgosh I'm the spinster of my family. Okay, it's either I'm the spinster of the family, or the women in my family are a bunch of whores. And I don't think my Nana is a whore. If you do, I'll kick your ass. Though, I wouldn't not say that my mom is a whore. However, Babies are still on the brain.

It may be due to the fact that younger women around me are about to give birth to children, and I'm like.... freaking out! For instance, one girl (who just turned 19) is about to have a baby in two months. That's 8 weeks being a normal human being, then having to turn your vagina inside out and birth a person. A live person. We're having her baby shower in two weeks, and I'm like O.M.G. rly? Vagina bout to be a cavern.

Then, older people (like way older) people are having babies as well. Perhaps other women feel the way I do when there are tiny humans surrounding me in my dreams. Okay, so I don't dream about babies yet, but I'm afraid it will happen one day. Thank God that my husband keeps me sane. Anyways, I just wanted to talk about babies because it's been on my mind lately, I don't want to have them for a while because truly, I hate children. I hope I don't hate mine.

365 Project;

I have decided to start my project today. I am intending to do this project starting out now, without my D-SLR to improve my skills with a tripod and a regular digital camera. I can't use my film SLR due to the fact that my printer can't scan. I may do some regular film shots along with the digital pictures just to mix up the composition. I plan on starting after I get home. I will also post a DIY project for something I've been planning on for a while, in a month or so. It will actually be done this week, but I have to send it in to a contest and wait until the contest is over in order to post it.

I hope everyone is having an excellent day. TTYL.

I'm kinda sucky at this.

Yes, I am kinda sucky at writing in this beautiful little spot of the world I've created, but who's to say I won't get better? You see, there's this pesky thing called life that gets in the way of me writing, even though I've always dreamed of writing in a journal everyday. I've also dreamed of my husband working full-time while I sit at home, done with my cleaning, and read a book in the sun while eating bon bons. Well, let me tell you, I'm currently sitting in my office, doing accounting stuff. IT'S BORING. But it pays the bills.

I also seem to have developed this thing with being content with just going home and lying there, not doing anything. Okay, so I have also developed this taste for doing extremely out of the ordinary things, like deciding I want to do photography for a side job (which never turns out well, but we'll talk about that another time) , or that I've decided I'm driving to Cincinatti in March to see ONE band. It's just that I've decided I want to be lazy, and then I want to do things, and being lazy has never existed well with the idea of getting shit done. Henceforth, an impasse.

I don't feel as if being lazy is limiting, it's just the fact that I work 9 hour days (with only 30-min lunches) and then I get a long weekend. It's nice, but it tears me apart when I don't do anything on the weekdays. I'm just laying there in a puddle of my own drool looking at my new 52" LCD TV (thank you job!) with Judge Alex Ferrer yelling at stupid people. Still, even watching a show that serves justice to stupid and ugly alike, I still feel unaccomplished during the week. So I've decided something. I'm going to do something for my house for one hour each day. I'm thinking of making this into a 365 project. I'm getting kind of excited. It's the domestic goddess in me.

I've wanted to start a 365 project for a while, just to improve my photography skills. My husband and I were in the same photography class in highschool, and we have a few tricks up our sleeves when it comes to taking pictures. However! I do not have a Digital SLR camera, just a regular SLR camera, and a regular digital camera. My husband hinted at a D-SLR for my birthday (which is freaking 7 months away!), and it gives me flutters of the heart. I'm thinking this will be a good change. /obama speech

Well, back to work, accounting shit is not so easy when you're glued to the internets.

Excitation!

So, I am taking engagement pictures this upcoming weekend for my friends, that way they have some photos to show off at the wedding. I'm rather excited. I have to go get some film for my film camera, and find my SD card for my digital one. I went out to Snug Harbor on New Year's day and it was rather epic.

If you've never been there and you live in the Charlotte area, it's a must-have sight. I love Pirates, essentially because I am one. I pirate movies, games, software (catch me if you can, coppers!) If the internet was a big ship full of booty, I would be seriously tappin' that.

Anyways, I'll probably be giving you one more funny ( these are funny, aren't they? AREN'T THEY?) posts before I put up the engagement shots. I must be off now, I gotta go do work.

The first of the Month;

Since I am an accountant, technically today is January 1st for me, so....

HAPPY NEW YEARS!

Well, I'm glad we all enjoyed that. I'm now going to go back to work and get my ass kicked on EOM shit that I have yet to put together.

Fantastic!